Am I going to disappear? Mushy insides & new beginnings.

beautiful morningThis year, my insides started turning to mush and rearranging themselves.

I feel less driven by money and more pulled by curiosity. Less driven by busy-work and more pulled by heart-work. Less driven by fear and more pulled by love.

Things are changing as a consequence, Kaspa & I are offering more local classes and services to our Buddhist group and to others. We’ve stopped running online courses. There is a potentially huge local project hovering on the horizon.

I find myself feeling less and less sure about what I want to say on Facebook or Twitter, and why. I never know quite who I’m talking to. I am still terribly prone to getting caught in the sticky web of faux-connection and faux-validation. I question the value of online interactions, which are so often squeezed in between a flutter of clicking and scrolling.

And so. I am going to see what it feels like to live without social media. Until September, and then we’ll see.

Of course, I’d like to have my cake and eat it. I don’t want to lose the connection I have with all the good people I’ve met online, or the old friends who occasionally post a photo of their children or their holidays, or ask me how I am.

And so what I’d like to ask is that, if you would like to stay in touch with me, let’s connect in some other way. If you have something to say or ask or share with me, drop me an email at Text me on 07900 605055. Sign up to this newsletter to hear about my books and my life, and this newsletter if you’d like to come along to something we offer locally. Visit Malvern and let’s have a cup of tea.

Will I disappear? Will you disappear from me? Maybe. Let’s see. It’s going to be an interesting experiment.

Now, I’m going to go outside. I hear there’s a whole world out there.

PS. I haven’t had much to do with my insides rearranging themselves. Something else is in charge. God, Amida Buddha, the unfolding of the Universe… whatever it is, it seems that I can trust it. My plan is to keep on stepping aside and letting it show me the way.


‘beautiful morning’ by Hammington Photography with thanks

19 thoughts on “Am I going to disappear? Mushy insides & new beginnings.”

  1. Have a wonderful time, no matter the outcome and choices! As I see it, my online community is just one facet of my whole experience – and (for me) a vital one at that. Could I live without it? Yes, as I’m sure you’ll find… I choose, instead to enjoy it for as long as I can and find ways that it enhances rather than detracts from my journey 🙂 I love that you are slipping away from the almighty $$ (or other moneyed connections) and toward the authentic and true (imo) pathways of lifing. I have been on that pathway myself and only hope the rest of the world decides to do the same 🙂 Hugs in sisterhood! Good luck with your local connections and in forging your new and exciting pathways… here’s hoping that your insides find balance and solid grounding…

  2. I feel that I want to Thank you for all your inspiration over the last 9 months since I found you. I will miss your presence in this virtual world as it is the only way I have known you . I am learning to live with the virtual alongside my real world and to make efforts to stop clicking but to do more actual connecting with friends and others. To step out into my community with an open heart and mind and to feel the rewards of doing so. good luck with your new projects and with your community connections and I hope the path is rich in its rewards for you x

  3. Blessings, Satya! Trusting in ourselves and that external ‘whatever’ are difficult. Yet, oh so rewarding. Perhaps, I will drop you an e-mail from time to time just to check in.

  4. Sounds like great things are afoot! You won’t lose me, I always prefer to email you directly anyway. Social media has benefits, but I fear we are all at risk of losing quality in favour of quantity. And genuine warmth and one-on-one communication fill us for far longer than social media snacking!

  5. I love that you’re following it’s lead, Satya, and wonder what seeds you’re planting in all of us to listen more intently to our hearts as you take this step. Many blessings. I’m nourished by knowing you’re doing this, and by the fact that there’s you, being you in this world. Truly.

  6. I so admire you doing this Satya, I understand completely how you feel, I’m also struggling with this but not sure which way to go at the moment. I have so much to be grateful to you and Kaspa for, not just the writing motivation but also as great representatives of the Buddhist faith. I shall keep in touch because I’ll really want to know how you are getting on, I already subscribe to your newsletter but wouldn’t want to miss out on that next book. Best of love and luck and light to lead you forward _/|\_

    1. Thank you Francesca. It’ll be interesting – I already feel more free… Facebook keeps emailing me to try and get me back! Go well, am sure we’ll be in touch x

  7. That sounds beautifully nourishing and creative Satya. I will let you know when I next pop over to Malvern from Bath and we can have a cup of tea !

  8. Great idea. It will be interesting come September to hear feedback.
    So love ‘Now, I’m going to go outside. I hear there’s a whole world out there.’ 🙂

  9. Good! I thought I was alone feeling-thinking like this. We can always share directly (even if it’s through email). Thanks!

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